"I'm SO Jealous of You," I've Been Told, Countless Times....

Dealing daily with death and dying was part of my regular work.

This is phrase I have heard numerous times regarding my work in Costa Rica--my ten weeks spent there this summer, and my upcoming three and a half weeks for our Christmas trip. 


How does one respond? 
I wonder, when told that, if I should share about the gigantic brown cockroaches that would scuttle across my legs in the middle of the night. 


Or about the constant terrified wailing of the baby next door I could hear through the paper-thin walls for ten entire weeks and the harsh mother's voice next door raging constantly at the newborn who was just needing to be held. It was after this summer that I realized that yes, I can tell the difference between a baby just crying and the fearful, tormented sobbing of an infant who both longingly cries for its mother and is utterly scared of her. Recognizing this type of suffering in a baby for ten weeks can do strange things to your mind. 


Or how I was experienced hunger pangs daily, because my  host mom could not afford to give me enough meat (or any milk) to satisfy my body's need for protein, and I learned a new definition of what it means to "go without." 


Or perhaps I might share that I only had two Saturdays off the entire summer, one of which was the only time I went to the beach. 
Because I was studying through countless academic research journal articles every Saturday...as a part of my summer's work. 


Or perhaps I should share about my 10-14 hour days I kept 5 days a week, every week. I WORKED. 


Do I share about how I gained weight, because it is very dangerous to run on the streets in Costa Rica, with a very high pedestrian fatality rate, due to drivers' disregard for those on foot, and so I couldn't go running? 


Do I share how I spent my Sundays at multiple church services...because I was working on building relationships with the local churches? No sleeping in for me, because I have to wake up early and it will take me an hour to take the bus to church.... 


Or do I share about how while my pre-medical and nursing student peers worked during the summer to make some kind of income, I gave my summer away, a poor pre-med student who really needs funds but gave my labor away? 


What is is people are jealous about? 
Please hear my heart. I do what I do out of love: "Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore, all died. And He died for all, that whose who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again" (2 Corinthians 5:14.) 


Christ's love compels me. 


My prayer is that I would hear instead, 
"That is so awesome. I am praying for you." 


At the director of LoveAIDS, I am working very long hours and slowly, with my team members, building a vessel the Christ-loving church in the United States desperately needs: a vessel that Christian health care workers can utilize to travel globally to love the AIDS patient in Jesus' name. 
And I am stepping out to love and serve those neglected and stigmatized the most in countries where it is most needed: resource-poor countries. Costa Rica is only a gateway to further work in other, much poorer countries. 


That is my prayer. A coming-alongside of me with a "How may I join in?" and a "I am praying. I am praying for you." 

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My bed and shelves in my half of the bedroom where I lived all summer, in San Jose, Costa Rica. I had new experiences regarding what gigantic brown cockroaches on your legs at night and paper-thin walls--where you can understand everything your neighbors say in Spanish--are all about.